


Too many Reports

by Seven_Alice



Category: Herbert West - Reanimator - H. P. Lovecraft, LOVECRAFT H. P. - Works, Re-Animator (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Based upon the story but with some elements from the movie, Fluff and Humor, Humor, M/M, Named the narrator Dan for obvious reasons, silliness
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-07
Updated: 2019-02-07
Packaged: 2019-10-24 02:21:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 19,040
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17695778
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Seven_Alice/pseuds/Seven_Alice
Summary: After Herbert West's experiments, he always tasks his assistant and partner to write everything down in a collected report.What he wasn't expecting it's the fact Dan often makes fun of him with these many reports he's bugged to write every so often.Sometimes he ends writing a bit too much about West in them. Hilarious discussions ensue.





	1. That silly report...

"Lyla..."

"Lyla..."

"Lyla... Why did you?" 

"Why did you leave me, after everything I've done for you?"

"I want you back"

"Give me one more chance..."

That kinda sounded like Herbert West's voice, but no need to be mistaken. It was actually Dan, doing a somewhat lame (but also somewhat accurate) impression of Herbert's voice, reading aloud the latest report he wrote about their research of reanimation methods. One out of too many, as an student in Miskatonic they all were given the constant habit to write down carefully and detailed reports of the acquired knowledge, specially if your career requires infinite paperwork about human anatomy, illness or injuries; reading it gave Dan a sense of confidence if it weren't for the fact he hadn't noticed how he wasn't alone, Herbert himself stood in the door frame with a raised brow and a sour expression.

"Dan"

He voiced, tone cold and blue eyes glaring daggers at his roommate, who seemed way too distracted right now. Probably the excitement of the monologue.

"Daniel"

One more chance, but Dan didn't respond.

"Oh my precious, lovable and beautiful Lyla..."

Thay was the last straw, but it wasn't like Herbert is a tolerant man. Well, he is, but tolerant of what can bring his research some benefit.

"DANIEL!"

With that dry, powerful shout Dan lost his balance in the chair and fell backwards while blurting out what seemed like a shout of surprise, halfway through his throat, the papers he previously read scattered over him and around the floor. The sight was almost funny; almost. It might have ignited a laugh from someone else, but Herbert's lip just twitched slightly in response.

"Aughhh... Hello Herbert"

Said weakly Dan, rubbing the back of his head and feeling sort of a shiver when he caught his friend's almost inhuman, cold glare.

"What in the world were you doing just now, Dan?"

If Dan did admit that he's mocking Herbert, oh how much of a cold shoulder he's going to face... Luckily enough that wasn't exactly what he's doing- not in essence, or at least not today.

"Oh, this?"  
He got to his feet, grabbing his unfinished paperwork and numerous reports.

"I was doing exactly what you told me to, about writing down every single aspect of our latest experiment"

He stated plainly, and put in order the many papers about the experiment of reanimating the (oversized) lab rat they raised during weeks, just to kill it with a fatal shoot afterwards. Herbert adjusted his small glasses; anger subsiding a little.

"I know that, but what's that about Lyla and you talking about her with MY voice?"

And there came the explanation. Not the one he was wishing for as his roommate lidded his eyes and gave out a half smile.

"Well, these are my notes about your sleep talk the other day"  
He smiled in a funny way that made Herbert felt his face grow hot.  
"It seems like you still care a lot about Lyla"

He might have been flustered for all he knew, and that's probably what caused the silly smile in Dan's face, but nevertheless forced himself to remain serious through the whole matter, although he still cared about Lyla. 

Ah, cute little Lyla, it was both a nice and an unpleasant memory. Lyla had been the name of the white lab rat they reanimated - Why its name was Lyla, Dan had no idea since it was male - and after raising the healthy specimen for weeks, months even, after the partial reanimation that took place, it bite Herbert's wrist and fled through the conveniently open window. Nice memory since the serum actually worked, unpleasant because it almost teared Herbert's veins and flesh with these powerful teeth. Many teachers asked him about the reason behind his bandaged wrist, and every time he had to make up an excuse because Dan is terrible at lying. Despite all that, he still cared about Lyla and wished it hadn't fled so they could study it a bit more. Whatever happened to it after that night remains a mystery, but try as he might Herbert couldn't help but let his mind wander around the matter.

"...Sleep talk?"

He said casually and Dan nodded, as if hearing and writing down what your roommate says while asleep were the most normal thing in the world.

"Yeah, you know, you sometimes say some interesting stuff about the experiments and the probable reasons of failure, like the other day-"

Herbert's shook his head rapidly, not wanting to hear any more of this.

"Forget about that, erase the parts about my “Sleep Talk” or whatever; they're unnecessary"

Dan wanted to point out a few things, some interesting facts, but knowing Herbert as much as he does, he recognizes there's no use in arguing with him. So, with a resigned pout he complied and nodded. Mentioning the sleep talk might have been creepy and invasive for a normal person; think about it over and over and you'll find that sitting beside your roommate and listen to his sleep blabbering all night can't be quite right, but this is Herbert West we're talking about. During night he does everything but sleep, and since he skips classes as often as he likes to, whenever he falls sleep is during daylight and wherever he feels like to. Listening to his sleep talk while studying in their shared room isn't exactly something Dan can help.

"You finished the report of our latest experiment?"

Herbert's voice pulled him out of his thoughs, he sounded surprised, even if a bit. Like he couldn't believe Dan actually got time between his homework to finish the report of their super secret experiment. It wasn't like anyone else is about to read these notes, but still Herbert bugged him endlessly to get it finished and archived as one of their first successful reanimations- partially successful, more unsuccessful than anything but whatever. That's how the blonde wished for it to be labeled, and he had no complains about the fact that Lyla actually came back to life.

"Yes, I was just adding the final touches of your theories and the sleep talk, but if that's unnecessary then I think it's done"

He wasn't about to mention the... The other things the blonde said during his sleep talk, for they are quite embarrassing to comment in this situation, but since Herbert already said they're unnecessary then he'll kept them to himself. For now, that's it. He watched the smaller man take a seat in the bed and rest his elbows in his knees, hands interlaced in front of himself as the cold, frigid expression returned to his crystal blue eyes. 

"Read it to me"

Dan did the same, and sat beside his partner while putting some order to the many pieces of paperwork, also somewhat marveled (again) at how small Herbert is in comparison to him. Then, he started to read.

"Experimental Reanimation of living beings: part I

Subjects in charge:

Doctor in internship Herbert West; lead subject. Student in Miskatonic University, Arkhan Massachusetts

Age: 19 (anyone who reads this may ask to be lend a copy of the birth certificate to dissipate any doubts about his age, since the stature may fool anyone. We reassure you that a small body contains a big will and even bigger intellect)

Notes: it can be noted, above anything, his ability to tell intelligible, probably and likely excuses to keep the research as a secret.

Doctor in internship Daniel Cain; main (and only) assistant and partner. Student in Miskatonic University, Arkhan Massachusetts

Age: 19 (there's no need to verify, he looks his age, if not a bit taller)

Notes: many to be added, but disregarded due to Herbert's temperament. Like his uncanny ability to write his hand off with this reports.

Subjects to be tested:

Subject #1: Lyla  
Species: male lab rat

Many to be added, many species to be tested. Birds? Rats? Dogs? Cats? Animals? People? Humans? Homo sapiens?"

"Stop. Stop. Stop"

His lecture came to a halt by Herbert's voice, already feed up with this. But wasn't he the one who asked Dan to read it?.

"Something wrong?"

The blonde shook his head vigorously.

"What's that about my “Ability to tell intelligible, probably and likely excuses to keep the research as a secret”?"

He asked with a cold, but somehow annoyed voice. Dan scratched the back of his head; it wasn't like he's saying something with no basis, but he already guessed Herbert wouldn't like to hear that.

"I though it was something important to note down, but if you wish for me to plainly explain it as an ability to tell lies..."

He let his voice wander, and his partner shook his head no again. He couldn't quite deny the uncanny skill at making out pretty lame but believable excuses- lies- whatever.

"No, it's... Acceptable that way"  
He sighed, then continued, and Dan could see a twitch in his brows and a small vein growing in his forehead. Is there something that made him angry?

"But erase the part about my age, just the number is more than enough. I'm not going to lend anyone my birth certificate"

Oh. That. Yeah, maybe he elaborated a bit too much in that part. Maybe because it was kind of funny to write it.

"I'll get rid of that"  
Herbert nodded in approval, his previously tense features softening a little.

"And you know, this is a complete introductory report; so you should have elaborated a bit more about yourself"

The blonde said that off-handedly, but it made Dan's eyes widen even if for a moment. Of all things he expected Herbert to point out, he didn't really think that he'll find necessary more info about his assistant, nor about himself, if anything he though his partner would rather want him to express the whole experiment with words and phrases that expressed the morbid sense of unmistakable horror, which is actually the only way one can define their (or rather Herbert's) experiments with animals. But in a way, he could understand, since the few notes Dan jotted down about himself do not describe his persona and rather seem like some sort of made up coverage, like he were a criminal on the run with a dark past he'd rather not mention in the report.

"That is, if you can cope with my “temperament”"

He mentioned with sour sarcasm, making with his fingers the quotations in "temperament". And for the first time, Dan felt embarrassed. For a moment there he forgot Herbert is not some narcissistic person who seeks a path to personal success, in fact he's completely selfless when it comes to his goal. The goal above anything, the end justify the means, that's what he says. Yes, this is his project, but Herbert would gladly die if he's reassured that'll make him see his dream come true seconds before. He doesn't need fame of any sort, neither he needs people to fret over him. Had he wanted that, he would have tried to convince other students to join his cause; which would have probably failed due his bad reputation. But it's not like he needs reputation since he doesn't care about whatever others think about him. The only one whose opinion matters and he's willing to lend his ear to is Dan himself; hence he wants his partner to be more acknowledged even if a bit. The blonde wouldn't say it aloud, but he wouldn't be able to advance without Dan, he'll probably end stuck and insane in his usual isolation. Yeah, he isolates himself a lot, but it doesn't really matter since he knows Dan will always come and force him to class and basically out of their bedroom for whatever reason; but actually because his assistant knows all too well how to take care of him, while he knows how to take care of their experiments. So everything's fine around here.

"...I thought you dislike it when I talk about myself"

Dan admitted with a small voice, and received a weirded expression from Herbert. The way his glasses fell from the bridge of his nose every now and then was somewhat funny.

"Why would you believe such a thing?"

Dan shrugged slowly.

"You dislike it when I talk about my family"

Herbert shook his head quietly and looked down. In these cold eyes behind that golden frames there was something Dan couldn't quite point. Maybe guilt? He felt bad for having given his assistant and friend the impression that he didn't care about his family or personal life in general?

"No Daniel, no. You got it wrong, it's not as if I dislike your family; I just feel overwhelmed when you talk about your sisters. There's just so many of them that I never know which one of them you talk about"

Dan let out a small "Oh". Of course he can't expect other people to understand the way he and his family talk; not even someone as capable as Herbert. To be honest, he sometimes forgot their names as well and often confused them; there's just so many!

"...I'll fix that later"

Herbert nodded.

"Good. Now continue"

With that approval, Dan picked up from where he left. Next part was the formal introduction of the beginning of their research; brief but nevertheless important.

"Introduction to the research.

Main goal: To reanimate a dead one (Birds? Rats? Dogs? Cats? Animals? People? Humans? Homo sapiens? Eldrich?)

The investigations to reanimate a dead one started far before the internship in Miskatonic, Herbert West's life is basically resumed in that (with Daniel Cain being able to testify) they didn't take place during Herbert's childhood, but it's closely related to it.

He was the son of a woman and a wealthy man (whose name shouldn't be noted due to the previously stated temperament of Herbert's) who never gave them the time of a day. They were married, but there was love? Don't think so, the few times they talked was usually spent at arguing over small things.

Over

And over

And over

And over again, pretty much a big damage to the child's sanity. But in return he was exceptionally smart, so smart, and he liked to be praised because of that. Really, he liked, not like now that he doesn't give a shit. His clever mind was amazing and said to have an IQ of $#&=+-@!?!

But still he wasn't happy. Not until his cousin came to visit; his name being Crawford Tillinghast. Believe it or not, the boy's smaller than Herbert, who now at his age of 19 years old just Heights 1.50 cm. Tall. Whatever, Crawford was small (very small. God, how can there be such a small person? A dwarf! My goodness!) and very easy to impress, thing Herbert took to his favor and received the much craved praise, ignoring his parent's constant arguments.

But it finally happened, his family crumbled down. His parents divorced, he kept his father's last name due the cost to change it being astronomical. That's why he dislikes it, and being called by it is such a pain. So refrain yourselves from using it as much as you can; anyways who lives in the West?

No matter, he still got reunited with Crawford a lot. And his mom actually loved them both, she seriously did, even though she was sad and though on why all of this happened to her. But she kept a happy facade; a really lovely lady and mother.

But when there was a festival in the streets of Arkhan, and Herbert played around like a normal child, the disaster happened. Details are unknown but some believe a man who piloted a plane was drunk or high in some drug, since the plane crashed and it killed the woman. A lot of people died but we overlook their names due their lack of importance. Crawford got scrapped but survived, and despite the dead body of Herbert's mother looked mostly intact, she was dead.

That's what made Herbert want to be a doctor and help his mother, because according to him that was his first though. To be a doctor and reanimate his mother by any means. As if it were so easy.

But who knows him better than that (aka Daniel Cain) can recognize that wasn't his first though. There were many other things in his mind.

Like «Why me?» 

Or «I did nothing wrong. It's clearly my father's fault. He left us, after all»

And maybe «It should have been Crawford. I wish it could have been Crawford instead of her» this one's evidenced through the sour mood of Herbert's whenever his small cousin is mentioned. That must be where the resentment comes from.

There also could have been «If I'm so intelligent and gifted, WHY DOES THIS HAPPEN TO ME?!»

And the determined «If I were a doctor I could bring her back! I would find a way to!» afterwards, there came the «I must succeed in any way! No matter what, no matter the costs... Humanity, morality, religion, law... I don't care about any of those!»

And definitely, the unmistakable «I should have died with her. We both should have died in that damned accident with that cursed plane, then I wouldn't be feeling like this. Like I'm screwed» 

«So screwed»

«So screwed»

«So screwed»

«So screwed; did I mention I'm screwed?»

:'(

:-{

:-$"

"DANIEL WHAT'S THE MEANING OF THIS?!"

Dan gulped as his eyes widened in horror upon realizing how Herbert stood from the bed, with his fist clenched and face flustered in anger. The coldness vanished from his eyes, now darkened in the rage that probably bubbled inside him right now. Dan had to admit he probably went a little far with this; it was going to be shorter but... That happens when you're in a roll. He kind of forgot this was an introduction and not the biography he was privately writing for Herbert. That's where the infuriating details about his life came from, but in his defense no one else is about to read this, and Herbert not too willingly shared with him the shallow past that filled him with so much turmoil. Dan wasn't trying to pry more than allowed to, neither he wanted to give his opinion because it was Herbert's life and not his, but his small partner had said he wished he could laugh it off as if it didn't matter at all. And after it affected Herbert so much, Dan though that he actually deserved to laugh it off and continue on regardless of everything. Regardless of the fact it's been so long since he considered all the people mentioned in there to be his family.

"I know Herbert, I know"  
Dan held his hands up in surrender and his gaze fell, a expression of regret in his face.

"Your exact stature is 1.52 cm Tall, but I though just saying 1.50 would suffice-"

"NOT THAT!"

He shouted, and suddenly Dan suddenly felt like he was the smaller of the duo. Angering Herbert can bring nothing good; despite his physical strength equals to null, his knowledge makes up for it greatly. If so he wished he could create some sort of poison and inject it to his partner, to cause a partial or full paralysis or a state of coma or maybe a weird Illness that includes eating intestines or human brains or all those horror stuff Dan has read about in the dark books of the library.

"Come on Herbert, don't be angry"

He tried weakly, albeit it was futile.

"Why can't I be?! There was ZERO explanation about the reanimation experiment! Just a bunch of senseless details about my private life; a private life you forced me to spill even when I told you it was meaningless and petty!"

A moment after his fit; Herbert breathed in and out. Dan could only watch how he tried to steady his breath and control himself. It didn't help that much at first, but finally the flush of anger dissappeared from his face; don't think wrong, he's still terribly mad but an incredibly cold person like West knows how to keep it at bay. At least, with Dan and not an outwardly annoying classmate or professor. Then, he sighed.

"...And there was no mention about the building we're going to turn into our clinic after graduation"

He stated more calmly, massaging his brows and closing his eyes to find inner peace.

"Errr, I must differ"  
At this, he turned to face Dan again. Blue eyes like daggers that made his assistant shift into his place.  
"By “Building” you mean that decrepit little place owned by cultists? Because it's haunted, you know"

Herbert rolled his eyes and stumbled in the bed; sitting beside Dan as before.  
"Don't say such foolish things, haunted is a term used by fools whose beliefs lead them to blame on otherworldly things what they can't understand"  
He stated coolly, not really caring of the somewhat annoyed but unimpressed stare his partner was giving him.

"And is not my fault we're too poor to aim for something else that might fulfill your standards"  
Dan couldn't argue that point, although the small and decrepit building outside Arkhan was cheap enough to build a clinic; it's also the subject of many rumors about cultists making weird ceremonies in the abandoned place; sacrificial rituals and other blasphemous stuff that gave out the whole haunted vibe Dan is not so comfortable with. Both due to his religious beliefs and due the fact it seemed to fit way too well with Herbert. Hence the almost unnoticeable excitement of the blonde when he dragged Dan all the way there.

"You're right about that"  
Dan admitted, resting his elbow in his knees and leaning his face into his open palm as he sighed.

"With not a lot of connections among our classmates, monetary resources running thin faster than expected, no material to work with, and using our small dorm room as experimenting area ever since the dean started to lock the lab during nights; we give the air of mad scientists running from the authorities rather than doctors-to-be"

Every time he mentioned one of these facts, the blonde's frown grew deeper and darker. But hey, all was true. The dean Halsey probably gave Herbert the smallest dorm room due the constant friction between them; maybe to mock his small frame, or maybe it was just pure coincidence and the blonde's paranoia.

"Speaking of which, I don't know what're we gonna do about the next experiment you planned, since we spent our capital in that trip to Boston to acquire the materials for your serum, but Dean Halsey confiscated it due it's odor"

He mentioned off handedly; spilling salt in the open wound. Of course it frustrated the hell out of Herbert how his serum was confiscated by someone who probably got rid of it by now. But they both had to admit it DID stink; that's why it was labeled as "Handle with care". And now neither him nor Dan had money to buy the materials again. Financial crisis always follows students one way or another.

"Dan"

Said man had to turn in order to take a look of the dark expression in the blonde's face; voice firm and held some fatality and coldness that may creep out anyone else. But he was already used to it, what he wasn't expecting was the icy cold gleam into his eyes, as the shades into his soft features seemed to create an unnerving picture of a small man who's as scary as he's beautiful.

"I'll ask this to you not only as my partner and roommate, but also as the only person I can count with; do you still respect me?"

Now it was the turn of Dan to look offended. Yeah, he may play silly sometimes and mock every now and then, but in no way it was meant to disrespect Herbert and his determination to reanimate dead ones. Better than anyone he knew how much it meant to him, and wished to be by his side to see it happen.

"Of course I do"  
The look Herbert gave him implied he wasn't convinced.  
"I do respect you and your ambitions, that's why I am so determined in helping in any way I can, thing I wish you could recognize sometimes"

He couldn't help but frown and look away from West, whose expression had softened in one that carried mild confusion, and probably waited for Dan to elaborate a bit more.

"You always leave me with the most mundane tasks of our research, and I still cope with that even when I could leave you deal with everything on your own. That speaks of how much I respect our work and goal, in spite of the fact you have never shown any kind of gratitude towards me"

Dan kept telling himself he wasn't angry; the only praise Herbert could say would be directed to a fully reanimated body; but it didn't change the ever growing frustration Dan tried to keep to himself because his blonde partner probably didn't care. Little did he know, how the already pale tone of Herbert's face got drained with the sole mention of the word "leave". He didn't want Dan to leave. Not now, nor ever. Weren't they planing far ahead, still together and still experimenting? And suddenly Dan felt as if he can just leave. He can't. He... Simply can't. Leave someone as unstable but isolated as Herbert would be a crime, wouldn't it? They're together in this! No one else can comprehend the delicacy of their work and how much Herbert needs Dan to be here, to help selflessly just as the blonde selflessly puts his all in their experiments; to just be here and keep at bay his horrible and terrible nightmares and parasomnia.

Dan had crossed his arms and was looking away from his partner, not quite that mad but also not feeling like talking anymore, but then he felt it. The sudden, but soft pressure in his back as Herbert leant his head on it; looking down with his cold eyes, devoid of life as if every light had been taken away from them. As if he were hollowed inside, like one of the beautiful corpses he would love to experiment with. He was glad Dan couldn't see him right now; instead the taller of the two just opened his eyes wide at the unexpected action.

"I don't want you to leave me, Dan"

The voice was as cold as it seemed strained by a suppressed emotion he'd rather not show. Because if he did, then he wouldn't be able to stop, and in no way he's allowing himself to become a emotional mess. Like Crawford, who cried and bawled and asked repeatedly for Herbert's forgiveness despite the fact he wasn't aware of what he did wrong. Herbert could have said many other things; maybe a thank you or a praise but they went disregarded. This seemed blurted out but still something he felt like he needs to say and Dan needs to hear.

Slowly, Dan's frown and surprise dissipated, a small smile taking place. He couldn't be mad because of something as petty, so his hand reached back to bury his fingers in the soft, golden strands of blonde hair.

"I'm not leaving you, dummy. If I did, then who would write these reports?"

He said and his fingers continued to massage his partner's scalp for a particularly long moment, feeling the golden locks he has wished to caress for so long; not only him but Herbert as well yearned for affection aside from the one he himself puts in his work. It would have been a lie to say he wanted human affection, no, he wanted Dan's affection and attention and no one else's. Who else would make him feel that way; angry but sad, broken but joyful, infinitely excited but still keeping a cold mind? Dan knows him, he's the only one with the right to know him so well, and in a sense, a big part of himself felt like he owned his assistant. Without the cold blonde, Dan would surely be hanging out with mundane people in God knows where, instead of putting his brilliant mind to use in order to complete the work of their lives. Surrounded by the coldness of death bodies, something not very healthy for any sane person, but it doesn't seem like any of them can bring themselves to care anymore. The end justify the means, Herbert always says, and they have a long way ahead of them. But everything will be fine as long as they're together; like in this small moment that the blonde's going to label as an instance of weakness, but it doesn't matter since Dan is here. Dan knows, he understands and has no complains in sharing that stance of their small weakness. But it was over quickly enough when Herbert raised his head again; taking off his glasses and rubbing his eyes none too carefully. He wasn't crying, he wasn't- but his eyes stung for... Whatever reason.

"Albeit there are parts that need to be fixed, the report is pretty efficient nevertheless. Just a bit less info in some subjects, and a bit more about our experiment. Although I think you wrote it too fast, there's still plenty of time before we can acquire local materials in order to brew again my serum"

Herbert took the paperwork gently from beside Dan in the bed; putting the notes in order and watching how his roommate turned to look at him with an awkward smile.

"About that... I'll have to travel next week. Can you believe it? My sister's baby finally was born a couple days ago, I'm officially an uncle"

Despite the usual lack of emotion in Herbert's face, he could clearly see how he wasn't pleased at all.

"Seriously Dan? I already made a schedule, do you really have to go?"

The look he was giving him seemed cold, but slightly hurt nevertheless. Dan felt a bit guilty for a moment, but sighed.

"I do, I already told my mother ten days ago I would be going to visit periodically during holiday breaks"

The blonde pouted, and in all honesty it looked kind of adorable.

"Ten days ago? Why didn't you tell me about that?"

It was Dan's turn to look at Herbert in the eyes with a cold stare.

"Because I have been working my hand off"

He said, same words he used at the start of his report. The pout never leaving his face, the small blonde looked away. Probably used to stare coldly but not to be stared with the same intensity.

"Fine, you'll go and meanwhile I'll fix your mistakes in the report of our experiment"

His voice was clearly annoyed as he stood from the bed and grabbed from the work desk the other pieces of paperwork, folding them all together and tucking it under his arm in a quick motion. Dan just watched, knowing how usual it was for Herbert to think he owned his assistant or something; it had been right by saying he didn't dislike the Cain family, but anyone who tried to keep Dan apart from him, regardless of who they are.

"You sure? I can finish it if you wish, it's not really a hassle or anything"

Herbert shook his head no; not facing Dan.

"I must do it, unless I want more unnecessary info about my life and lame puns and jokes about my stature"

Dan couldn't help but suppress as much as he could a snicker. That was kinda right; but his smile didn't last long as he noticed how much Herbert tried to not face him, to not let his frustration to be seen. Although it was futile, of course he wasn't happy that even after his partner, his friend, the person who actually meant something for him; just said he wasn't leaving him, but immediately after commented gleefully the fact that he's going to be absent for a week. How he's going to leave him alone, by himself, in an overwhelming isolation.

"I'm sorry Herbert. You understand... Right? You had a family"

He really didn't want to mention that. To pry further in that matter Herbert made a point to not touch; but still felt like he had to make him understand. Because of his own well being; because he had to understand Dan's not leaving him willingly because he wants to, but because it's an obligation of sorts. The blonde said many times before how he didn't consider the people from his past to be his family or at least, not anymore. Not his father nor Crawford and whatever mixed feelings he had about his mother were twisted into seeing her as some sort of figure to reanimate instead of the role she once played in his life.

"...I may correct you, Dan. I have a family"

His voice was soft, so soft Dan almost didn't hear him as he stood in the doorframe with his hand already grabbing the knob.

"But I don't when you are not"

Before Dan could fully process the words, his partner was gone. Probably to take care of the mistakes somewhere else, and calm down his heart, to prepare himself for not having Dan around. It made the taller of the two feel guilty over and over again.

 

It had been a wild week at his sister's house; Dan's mom and dad were there and they all argued about how to name the newborn baby. Thing is, every time they chose a name it cried. So much for finding a nice name. He got lost in though in many occasions, one time when his father called out to him he actually said "What is it, Herbert?" to his own surprise, and to his sisters amusement; they won't let him live with that, saying over and over how he missed his little partner. They even considered in naming the baby "Herbert" just to annoy him even more. Worst part is, that the baby was content with that name; his sister and her husband would have used the name if it weren't for the fact that it was girl. He could only ignore the mockery as best as he could until the moment to return Miskatonic came. Herbert was right; he had too many sisters.

When he entered the bedroom it was almost 12:00 pm, and Herbert probably was out to find something to eat since Dan bugged him a lot before leaving, saying if he skipped the lunch he'll only grow shorter and shorter. Thing that seemed to have some effect on him. But nevertheless, when he entered there was Herbert in the desk; sleeping over the wooden surface full of scattered notes and pencils.

Dan could only sigh: nothing could be done about it. Stubborn dog learns no new tricks. He only dropped his backpack on his bed, and tried to put some order to the place; littered in disregarded notes, scribbles and medical artifacts laying everywhere, and the most messy thing around was definitely Herbert's bedhead. Ironically enough since he's not even sleeping on a bed right now. And Dan suspected he never slept in his bed once, for the matter, as it looked pretty neat save for a few stacked books over it.

Grabbing the many papers in the desk, Dan could only notice one of them to lack wrinkles or scribbles about formulas; a closer inspection allowed him to recognize his own report. Carefully, Dan managed to slid it from where it laid in the desk; under Herbert's head. The blonde stirred a bit in his sleep, adjusting himself to be comfortable in the desk. As much as you can get comfortable over a cold, wooden desk.

"So, he actually fixed this?"

He murmured softly to himself; it was kind of amazing how Herbert took time out of his brainstorming to actually fully read the introductory report and fix whatever he saw as a mistake. Not too much seemed to have changed, but Dan wrote it in first place, so his eyes wandered directly to the foreign parts of it; what Herbert added and corrected during his absence.

 

«Doctor in internship Daniel Cain; main assistant and partner. Student in Miskatonic University, Arkhan Massachusetts

Age: 19

Family: alive mother and father. Many unimportant sisters to be added.

Doctor in internship Herbert West; lead subject. Student in Miskatonic University, Arkhan Massachusetts

Age: 19

Family: Daniel Cain»

 

Dan couldn't help the smile that made its way to his face. So, that's Herbert's way of saying things subtly. Like how he considers his partner and assistant; his only dear friend to be his only family in this cruel world that erased from him whatever attachment he could have felt for those who share a blood bond with him. It was sad, in a sense, but Herbert doesn't want to be pitied in any way. That's why he tries to laugh off the past, and chose that despite how happy he could have been, he probably wouldn't change what he is right now. Yes, he would definitely bring his mother back; nevertheless he would do it by his own means. Finally creating a serum capable of total reanimation; with Dan by his side.

Smile still in face, Dan laid the paper back into the desk. His hand seemed to move at its own as it found its way into Herbert's head, petting the soft and golden locks. Gradually, the sleeping form of his partner relaxed into the touch and continued to snore quietly. He looked even smaller like this, so adorable for someone so cold. Dan found himself just staring lovingly, realizing he probably wasn't the only one who missed his roommate.


	2. For the sake of the research!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In Herbert's opinion, everything is always about the research. For the sake of the research. Always the research, every mundane task just for the research.
> 
> Sometimes, Dan wished it could be for themselves and not for the research, just for once.
> 
> Just this once.

"Dr. Herbert West's small life (Pun totally intended) 

By Daniel Cain.

Herberts West started his official career at the age of 30; albeit he looks way too younger due to his small frame, an universally recognized fact. (his previous life was skipped due to lack of interest)

He and his partner Daniel Cain started their career together, at Bolton, away from their much more familiar environment in Arkhan, after the building they planned to make their consultory was officially closed by the church due activities of many satanic cults of the area (like the clandestine church of the Starry Wisdom; from Providence. Or the Brotherhood of the Beast, others include the Chorazos' cult, the Esoteric Order of Dagon, etcetera) many zealots around the area, adoring outer gods and the sense of an ever present crawling Chaos in every inch of the soil. Even after Herbert fought for the creepy place, it was eventually discarded due the need to repair and cleanse the place from mosquitoes with the virus of the Zika; natural of Florida. How the mosquitoes arrived there, no one seemed to know and the investigation came to a close.

*Fees for repairing the building structure and cleanse the place from pests are astronomical. Well, not so much but a whole lot for a frustrated Doctor.

In his first year of formal practice, people of Bolton rated his abilities as “More than average” and people from Miskatonic had a lot of faith in his skill.

Rate: A+  
Number of Assistants: 1  
Number of successfully reanimated ones: 0

In the incoming years, many people requested to work with the new doctors from Arkhan; but they all were declined none too gently. His reputation was good at first but it eventually became shady (not to mention how his good reputation came from the many suitors, attracted by the small man's youthful appearance)

Rate: A++  
Number of Assistants: 1 (The wannabes are disregarded because they dissappeared under unknown circumstances)   
Number of successfully reanimated ones: -1

*-1 due the condition of said beings, they were a bit more than death but less than alive. They seemed to be trapped in a perpetual limbo I'd rather not talk about.

In spite of the darkness surrounding the area and Herbert's persona in general, people continued to make appointments, coming and going in a daily basis. The experimental area designed to the endeavor of reanimating dead ones was moved to the deep basement. A smelly place some claim that connects to another dimensions.

Rate: ?  
Number of assistants: 1 (the same unfortunate one from before)   
Number of successfully reanimated ones: -1? -2? -120?

*I have no evidence, but the experiments he conducts in my absence seem to be more gruesome than the ones I'm aware of.

More info to be added, specially about the moans that sometimes can be heard coming out of Herbert's study-"

"Daniel, what are you doing?"

Dan immediately turned down the papers, sat them face down in the dinning table as Herbert emerged from his study and into the hall were the breakfast awaited for him. If Dan was lucky enough, which he usually isn't; his partner probably didn't hear him reading aloud. A nasty habit he's kept ever since their years at Miskatonic, but couldn't bring himself to get rid of. After all, his impression of Herbert's voice had improved a lot. The blonde quirked a brow at his fellow doctor's sudden haste in keeping the notes down; he hadn't changed a lot, despite the years he still looked so youthful and beautifully untainted, even with the noticeable dark circles under his eyes. And Herbert wouldn't say it aloud, but Daniel also looked youthful. Handsome in his plain features and dark hair, he wouldn't admit how many times he's watched his partner during his sleep. To his defense, it was merely for the sake of research; according to Daniel, Herbert had this habit of talking during his sleep; but the blonde pointed out how his roommate also babbled while dreaming with- well, unknown stuff that evoked from him some moans and hums.

These moans and hums could mean that:

A) He was having sexual dreams.

B) He had intestinal worms.

The second one was very likely. Although Dan denied it, Herbert studied that possibility. These things can kill you, you know. And Daniel is not allowed to die until Herbert has his serum done and working to fully reanimate him.

"I was jotting down a few notes in my biography about you"

He had been writing that biography for years by now, but it wasn't a hassle at all. He enjoyed writing, and Herbert didn't really mind. Although some things he wrote down were a bit too personal... Implied the personal intimacy between the two of them, but Dan put up with the excuse that no one's ever going to read it anyways.

"Is that biography something Miskatonic requested us to deliver?"

He asked, taking a sip of his hot coffee, his blue eyes never leaving Dan as he fidgeted with the many notes and set them neatly in a folder.

"No, it's just a nasty hobby of mine"  
Dan commented off handedly, and felt Herbert's curious gaze on him.  
"You know, it's your fault I have a thing for writing down stuff. Come to think about it, if I write a book about you and the stuff I've seen so far, I'd be filthy rich in less than a week. People love horror stories"

Herbert just continued to stare, plainly but devoid of the usual coldness.

"But unluckily I never have enough time to dedicate myself to it; I just make some notes between every patient and my mundane tasks as your assistant"

And mundane they are; getting burned, almost drowned, dirtied with the graveyard's mud and almost caught by the police is not too nice, specially at night after his back is so tired due the hard, wooden chair of his consultory room. Nevertheless, Dan was smiling. His tone jokingly, it was risky to be Herbert's assistant, but nothing he can't handle. It's like the every day we come to enjoy in some twisted way. To his surprise, Herbert's lips twitched into what seemed like a quiet, small grin.

"Is there something I'm not aware of? You seem awfully happy today"

His blonde companion shook his head, his grin growing even if a bit, as he glared at Dan with these cool, blue eyes.

"Any other day I would have been quick to point out how much I'd loathe the very existence of a book about my private life, but today I'll make an exception due the incredible realization I had this morning"

Now it was Dan who's awfully curious, ignoring how Herbert won't be too thrilled to know that he's actually writing a book about his private life. Albeit it won't be published until being at least a hundred pages long; which will probably take ten more years if Dan continues jotting notes during his break. Anyways, he could only be weirded out but his partner's sudden bright mood.

"What kind of realization?"

Herbert stood from his seat slowly, and quietly made his way to stand beside Dan's chair in the dining table. To Dan's surprise, he leaned closer to him; small grin still in his face. The taller of the two couldn't help but feel his face a bit warm at the sudden action; Herbert is, by no means, this playful. Whatever realization he got, it might have been a message from the Daemon Sultan itself to ignite in him such a good mood.

"Guess what"  
He said a moment later, voice soft and slightly amused at Dan's flustered demeanor and blush. Then, he quickly wandered away; leaving his assistant craving for more of that closeness. To have his friend, fellow Doctor and partner beside him and share that unspoken intimacy they have had for years but none of them ever brought up. Probably for the sake of professionalism. But whenever he knew Herbert needed it, Dan just wished to be there as his shoulder to lean on and trustful right hand.

Even if Herbert couldn't see him in another light; Dan wished to be with him. Little did he know how much his fellow Doctor craved for that intimacy as well, whenever Dan wasn't there many nightmares and night horrors would torment his isolated mind, how many times he would wake up and call out for Dan to be there, to cradle him in his arms and give him the warmth no dead body can ever own. He often woke from his parasomnia and found himself in Dan's room; sometimes in his bed, wishing more than anything that his partner and dearest to be there. But still, when Dan is there with him, he can't bring himself to say anything because... It's plainly unnecessary. Dan probably wouldn't want to hear it, and all of that is meaningless in comparison to the goal they thrive to accomplish.

"I have no idea. Maybe... you fell from the bed and acquired the power of the prophecy or something?"

He asked, eyes following Herbert as he wandered to stand beside the window, letting the gentle breeze and the morning sun bathe his figure clad in the white medical coat. With a refreshed expression of mockery, Herbert shook his head no; Dan sighing afterwards. Not like the blonde believed in those spiritual stuff; the taller of the two was aware, since one of their patients (a small, slightly melancholic man named Randolph Carter) was said to own said power. Something Herbert countered by saying it was a bunch of supernatural jokes and crap. Nevertheless the man kept coming every now and then, for his injuries of the war to be tended.

A moment later, Herbert turned his head to look at Dan with a somewhat small, wry smile.

"It was a dream, but more than a senseless fruit of my tired mind it was a revelation of how our efforts are going to be fruitful in the near future"

With that, and with Dan's curious gaze over him, West advanced to stand beside the table again. He slammed both open palms in the brilliant wood of their small dining table; any other person would have made it shake but Herbert doesn't own that kind of strength due his (universally recognized) small frame.

"You know I made our schedule for this week as always, organizing the appointments with these idiots from the city and the full moon days in which conditions are favorable for our next experiment; but this morning I had to write a new one that goes according to what I realized will be happening in the incoming days, after putting together the many facts and info I've gathered during our investigation"

In a swift motion, he produced from his white coat a neatly written list; made with the same accurate precision and carefully noted as much as every schedule he writes down to keep in order their appointments, as well as to keep track of the many days they must let pass between every trip to the graveyard and the experiments. It was incredibly very easy to understand and neat, even with the calligraphy of a Doctor.

"After our latest experiment, and putting some order to the materials acquired from the Blasted heath in order to brew the reagent; adding in the exact grade of freshness I've come to realize our subject must have; I think I finally have the long waited answer we've been looking for. If my hypothesis is proven true, our next experiment will be... A complete and total success"

Dan couldn't almost believe it, any other day he wouldn't have been sure of this, but the gleam in Herbert's eyes spoke of something different. A new found confidence acquired from all the previous failures, and expressed through a dream that the blonde though to be a rational interpretation of his mind about the near future of this incoming week. He just listened with interest while his fellow Doctor continued.

"Prepare your heart for this Dan, because our lives will be changing drastically. Medicine won't matter since we'll be able to bring back to life anyone with an healthy brain, crime will gradually come to a halt as we can reanimate a dead man and allow him to testify in a trial who killed him. Let me read this to you, I know you won't be able to believe it at first; but if you believe in me I'm sure you'll understand how our hard work payed off in amazing results"

Adjusting his glasses, he started to read with that overwhelming confidence- and some sort of wry movements in his youthful, facial features.

"Scheduled Events for the week of September 23 to September 29.

September 23: «Today» after a great realization, Doctor Herbert West along his assistant decide to brew a mix of their previous reagent. That afternoon, a man dies from a heart attack in the facility; both Doctors take the decision to put to use the new reagent.

September 24: the previously dead man wakes up, alive and walking as if nothing happened. He goes to tell Boston the news about the miraculous method of the doctors from Arkhan.

September 25: Chairmen from Miskatonic visit the facility in Boston, surprised out of their mind due the incredible success, they want Herbert West to become the new chairman of the medical branch of the University due his prowess in medicine being astounding; leaving the once Dean Halsey in the filth of the oblivion.

September 26: After Reanimating a unfairly executed man due the delinquency, Herbert and his partner Dan choose to stay in Boston because such a prowess must be shared with the world. The Chairmen are deflated.

September 27: Instead of leaving, the Chairmen from Miskatonic offer Herbert West the opportunity to lead an expedition into the Antarctic in order to study many biologic mysteries yet to be unveiled.

September 28: The expedition is dangerous and difficult, but the collective determination manages to give the members willpower to advance. Many of them die, but are successfully reanimated.

September 29: The expedition comes to a close, and Herbert West and his assistant return Boston as the new heroes and erudites in the subject of biology and medicine. Herbert West is offered to lead another expedition, this one to Australia but he declines gently, since more people need to be reanimated right now in Boston.

Then, one night, Herbert's assistant Daniel Cain approaches sheepishly and in a sudden burst begs Doctor West to allow him be by his side forever, and even after death since he can live for centuries and eons as long as Herbert can reanimate him. Which he'll do, because he's very generous to his small assistant, but also curt with those people of closed mind that believed his goal to be impossible.

And Herbert, «With his new towering size of almost two meters tall, after the heated exercise of climbing the antarctic mountains» just embraces his assistant and says humbly “I'll think about it”"

After Herbert finished, Dan couldn't help but feel a bit dumbfounded; like what his partner saw wasn't a rationalization of the near future but some illusion created by the inhuman amount of caffeine they must consume on a daily basis. Still, he looked pretty sure of himself.

"That sounds more like delusion of yours rather than a schedule for the near future"

He pointed out, mostly thinking about the last part and how that exact day they're going to have immediate success. The blonde looked at him with an annoyed expression, cold eyes returning as they fit him way too well.

"...Are you saying you don't believe me?"

And in spite of his cold tone, of his icy glare and clear displeasure, Dan could see how there seemed to be something that provoked discomfort inside Herbert, like a pang of hurt at the implications that maybe, just maybe, Dan finally stopped having faith and deemed him as way too delusional. He was quick to shook his head, indicating Herbert that wasn't exactly what he meant. He didn't meant to be pessimist neither he's trying to deflate his small partner.

"No, I was referring to the last part, about you growing two meters tall. It's a bit too wild to believe you'll be towering over me in less than a week"

The displeased expression vanished from Herbert's face, and shooking his head he tucked the schedule back to the safety of his medical coat, while Dan grabbed from the table his mug of - already cold - coffee, and continued to look through the notes he had in the folder beside him in the table. Sometimes it was a bit too confusing to handle them since he also kept there many files of their patients, as well as personal notes like the unfinished reports of their experiments and his half written tales; among them the biography Herbert would burn or bury if he were aware of how many info it actually contains about his private and way too personal life.

"Say whatever you want, but once I grow up as expected, I'll have to borrow some clothes from you. If that's not a problem, of course"

He stated, confidence in his tone like before, and Dan only nodded absent-mindedly; taking a sip from his mug every now and then and already focused in the patients' files.

"Yeah, sure... Geez, you're totally out of character today"

And naturally, Herbert couldn't quite understand what his assistant seemed to be talking about.

"Never mind me; it's a term writers use"

He commented, his hand making a gesture that meant he was brushing off the matter and continued to read throughly. And while he did that, Herbert finally took a seat to enjoy his breakfast like a normal person for once. Although, not a lot of time had passed until he noticed the foreign object in the table, buried under sheets of paperwork written in an unintelligible calligraphy Doctors make use of. Raising a brow, he slowly lifted it and recognized it immediately; it was an small photo in a red, fancy frame with extravagant patterns. In black and white, he saw himself and Dan- but there was also a woman and a small girl. And oh, he recognized that woman with curly hair; mostly because of the way she couldn't keep her hands to herself when talking with both Herbert himself and Dan. She brought her daughter because of the girl's advanced state of anemia; and Herbert recalled how she got better after a few weeks. The woman cried some crocodile tears and said it was thanks to goodness, that Herbert and Dan saved her little daughter, and all those mushy and ridiculously sentimental stuff he isn't quite comfortable with. But why they suddenly owned a photo of her and her daughter?

"Dan, what's this?"

Said man raised his head from the lecture, and after a moment lost in thoughs he finally spoke; probably recalling the framed photo and repairing in how Herbert seemed to already be uncomfortable with it.

"Ah, that. You remember Mrs. Van Itty? The divorced lady whose girl had anemia? She was so happy after Ermengarde got better, that she forced us to appear in a photo with them. You probably don't remember because I dragged you half sleep that day"

"You did WHAT?"

Oopsie. Maybe he should have refrained himself from saying the last part. But Herbert clearly didn't remember when or why that photo was taken without his consent. Although Dan had to admit how good he looked in the photo in spite of the fact he was in some sort of limbo between sleep and awake- death and alive- homo sapiens and creature of the darkness.

"I knew you wouldn't want to, but being nice with our patients can get us a better reputation"

He explained as much as he could, but only gained a huff from Herbert, as he crossed his arms and looked away from his assistant with a sour expression. Directed to no one in particular since Dan couldn't see him, but already knew the sour pout the blonde has made his own trademark, accompanied by the frigid icy expression.

"We have a good reputation. If your intention was to win that woman's sympathy and take her to bed, that's perfectly fine. Just don't drag me into that kind of matters"

The way he probably grit his teeth didn't speak a lot of how he's perfectly fine with that. Here comes possessive West again, and Dan could only sight and give an eye roll. Exactly the kind of reaction he wanted to keep at bay, but to drag a half sleep man is not exactly the nicest thing to do. To his defense, he had NO interest in that woman; the photo's shady scenery in black and white can fool anyone, but with the clinic eye of a doctor one can perfectly see the bags under Mrs. Van Itty's eyes, as well as the chicken feet shaped wrinkles she tried to cover with thick white powder. Easily noticeable how she must be way older than she claims to be.

"It's not that, it's just... It's a memory of one of our patients, you know? You saved that little girl's life, it may not be as big as Reanimating someone but I think it's also something to remember. That's why I though about hanging the frame somewhere people can see it"

He tried to explain once again, and this time it seems like it kinda worked as West's tense shoulders relaxed a bit. Still Dan couldn't see his face, the sour mood probably changed to an emotionless one. Not that he cared about his patients, and his life seemed more devoted to less philanthropic deeds, combined to the fact that long ago he stopped craving to be praised by his peers, but somewhere deep within himself he probably understood and rationalized what his partner was saying.

"Do as you please. I have no need for memories of that kind"

The blonde stated plainly. Oh well, Dan tried. He was sure Herbert must have at least one cherished memory; probably one that has nothing to do with the turmoil of his past, or his loathed cousin, or every failed experiment whose lives (?) he ended with the fire of many bullets. For the memories of these... Ahem... "Specimens" being just the vague sensation of footsteps after him every now and then, as well as the habit of looking behind his shoulder despite being in closed places like his own room or secret lab in the basement. Although... If Dan recalled correctly... There's some memory he knows Herbert retains even now, for he was there to testify about it when the blonde mentioned it during his sleep talk. And following his hobby of writing mostly everything (maybe an obsessive mania by now) the assistant registered it all; he just had to fiddle between the many notes and paperwork in his folder.

"The only memory I shall treasure is the big, expected success of our experiment I talked you about-"

Herbert turned to look at his partner, feeling how he seemed to be ignoring him and more interested in reading something in his folder. He arched a brow, but nevertheless fell silent when he heard Dan start to read something aloud.

"Memories from Lyla: a very important part of Herbert West's life.

Despite the little regard for the male lab rat in the past few years, lately I could conclude the deep attachment of Herbert's towards that specific test subject; I was even able to get a testimony spoken by Doctor West himself"

And here's when it becomes weird, because the impression of Herbert's voice Dan flawlessly did is as accurate as it is scary. One could think it was West himself who's talking, except for a tinge of emotion on it that the blonde usually lacks.

"First encounter: biology lab of Miskatonic «a creepy place with not a lot of light, but I kinda feel like it suits the atmosphere»

Lyla was still a small rat, very comparable to a mouse, after deep contemplation I chose the name Lyla. To my defense, it showed unmistakable traces of being female. Despite all that, the rat's anatomy was pretty much what I needed for my testing back then, so I had to win it's trust.

The first time I tried to pet it, it bite my finger. Was it because it's rabid? Or was it because Dean Halsey ordered it to?

The second time I tried, it bite me.  
The third time I tried, it bite me.  
The fourth time I tried, it bite me.  
The fifth time I tried, it bite me.  
The sixth time I tried, it bite me.

But I never NEVER gave up!"

"DAN WHAT THE HELL?!"

Hearing Herbert's shout, Dan slowly raised his head to meet the blonde's annoyed stare. Whoa, this actually brings back memories. During their times in Miskatonic specifically, Dan could recall the report of their first (successful?) experiment and how Herbert incredibly loathed how elaborated and detailed it was about his private life. All was necessary in his assistant's point of view; the only mistake he himself found was when it mentioned the blonde's IQ; there said “$#&=+-@!?!” due the fact that when he asked his partner about it, he answered with a succession of unintelligible sounds Dan's not sure an human mouth can articulate, hence the weird symbols. But still, Herbert found too many mistakes as well, and added in the fact that he considered his assistant to be the only family he has and needs. Ah, remembering can be quite nostalgic.

"Did I say that aloud?"

He had tried to keep it to himself, but then again that happens when you're obsessed with some habit or hobby that makes its place in your mind.

"Yes, you did" said the blonde curtly, pinching the bridge of his nose as his flustered face subsided. Anger or embarrassment; a question to be answered.  
"Let me guess, I said all that in my sleep talk?"

And as expected, Dan nodded quickly. Oh shit. Herbert tried to tell himself it was all due his parasomnia, because the possibility of having some intestinal worms (which he still has the idea Dan might have) didn't appeal him too much. His assistant mentioned it regularly, pointing out some stuff he said... And how often he talked about Lyla. Yet he didn't pry, thing Herbert is somewhat grateful of. It might be because Dan is aware he named the lab rat "Lyla" after his deceased, young mother.

"There's actually an article in the news about putting an end to the Parasomnia and the sleep talk and all that stuff; it says something about sleeping upside down-"

Dan was about to read it for him, grabbing the newspaper that laid forgotten among the paperwork scattered in the table and dangerously close to the coffee mugs; but Herbert's voice stopped him.

"I don't want to hear about that"

Very curt again, although with a somewhat cute pout. Daniel just frowned, but nevertheless opened the newspaper in front of himself.

"Though so, but there's something concerning our research that you'll probably want to read about"

At this, he quickly perked up and arched both brows, a renewed interest taking place quickly as Dan handed him the folded newspaper with the article in first plane. Herbert (maybe too quickly) grabbed it and his eyes wandered wildly all over it. Even now he still held some... Fear? Or maybe worry towards authorities; after all they were both targeted and interrogated by the police during previous occasions, maybe too many for just coincidence. Starting from that terrible night after being attacked by... Halsey... Cannibal... Zombie... Thingy. They probably drank a bit too much before starting the experiment, and while Dan couldn't quite remember what exactly happened, the next few days after the wounds from the attack healed and the bandages subsequently removed, not only was Herbert touchy about the subject of finding totally, incredibly and DEFINITELY fresh bodies to work with; for some reason he seemed sensitive whenever his assistant stood beside him, or put a hand in his shoulder or even attempted the closeness they both secretly wished for. Every time, he would turn slowly with his eyes open wide, as if in horror or mute surprise, and sometimes he seemed determined in keeping distance between them, almost in a desperate way. Dan swore he even saw something resembling a dark blush and a clouded stare the blonde tried to conceal; along the fact he seemed to be grateful they didn't share a room anymore, but never quite content to have Dan in his apartment. Small details that lasted for a few weeks; til he was able to brush it off as if nothing, and while it seems normal to be touchy after such an experience (specially for someone traumatized, unstable and who suffers from Parasomnia); the assistant knew him enough to be aware that something else was definitely off. Just what the hell exactly happened that night and Dan is not aware of? What did that zombie, aberration, Eldrich beast do? Or rather, what happened between him and Herbert? In any way, it seemed to make the blonde decide he can never be too careful.

The article he feverishly read stated the following:

 

«Grave robbers on the loose:

Last week there's been many reports about strange figures wandering in and out of the Christchurch cemetery and around the common pit; eyewitnesses state there seems to be a quiet pattern surrounding said activity, and some people fear there may be a case of grave robbers like the one that took place in the Cabot museum weeks ago; when the mummy was almost taken under unknown circumstances.

Some speculate mummified bodies are being robbed for diverse purposes; some of them related to the clandestine cults that hide in the shadows of this city. There's also the theory of grave robbers like the ones that recklessly try to steal hallows from ruins in Australia and Egypt, and those who think they may get an incredible discovery by illegal means, mindlessly disturbing the peace of the dead.

This one might be a similar case, for some people take with them their most prized treasures and are buried with these (amulets, pieces of clothing, and the usual teeth made of gold some wealthy deceased ones own). Information spreads quickly, and cultists as well as common robbers that seek for an easy way to get money take that chance without thinking about it twice. A fellow occult researcher and geologist who wished for his name to remain anonymous and his friend and partner St. John were interrogated after a grave was ransacked and presumably robbed; but they denied being related to said event. Weeks after, St. John died under unknown circumstances. A conflict between cultists and researchers, maybe?

Whatever the reason is, there's been set many members of the police to take turns and watch over the Christchurch cemetery as well as the common pit; due to the citizens complains. Which are justified, to profane deceased ones and disturb their eternal sleep is as disturbing as disrespectful, and must be punished by the law and competent authorities.»

 

Herbert set the newspaper aside and fixed his glasses, not looking too happy after such an article that would surely put a strain on his plans. Or so Dan though.

"This is foolish, why in the world they would think there's a treasure worth robbing inside the common pit? It's got that name for a reason"

He said calmly, an eyebrow slightly raised. Dan shrugged in response.

"It's like it says there, the authorities care because it's disrespectful to profane a grave and disturb the deceased ones"

Herbert gave him a quizzical glare; as if trying to see through his assistant and silently lecture him about what he just said. Like he somehow though the blonde actually cared about deceased ones above their goal of Reanimating them. He knew Herbert probably wanted to say more about how he found Dan's faint religious beliefs to be distasteful, even when he claimed to be materialist and follow Herbert's theories about how a body is not a soul's vessel but a delicate piece of machinery, full of gears and wires that need an adequate kind of brewed oil in order to start turning again once they stopped naturally. Yes, he agreed with his fellow Doctor but couldn't help but feel drawn to still rationalize with the beliefs his family has followed during many years, even before he was born.

"I beg to differ, they care because religious families and superstitious citizens bugs them endlessly to keep safe the “deceased ones”; which actually amounts a pile of decaying meat"

Augh, that actually hurt. But those bodies already in decay and no possibilities of ever being reanimated have no place in Herbert's mind. Dan was aware of that, sometimes tried to convince himself to not follow his late religious beliefs; but it actually seemed pretty curt to hear it. He wished he could brush away some thoughs; but still they filtered in his mind with way too much ease: if Dan were to die pathetically, and would rot before Herbert is able to do anything else, would his partner, fellow Doctor and close friend just shrug it off and label him as death meat? The sole though was repulsive, along the many other possibilities Herbert would follow, taking in count his possessiveness towards his assistant. They actually seemed more morbid.

"Exactly, and while they keep bugging the police into patrolling, there's no chance for us to slid in during night; we'll need to wait until the whole situation calms down"

He explained, but still Herbert didn't seem quite worried. He was kinda used to be in some messy, dangerous situations; this probably won't stop him but Dan still wanted to make him understand this is actually pretty serious.

"I mean, ever since we arrived, we've been interrogated quite a few times and some officers have started to give us weird stares. If we ever get caught-"

"Don't say such foolish things Dan"

The blonde stated quickly with a cold tone. He didn't want to hear any of that, he didn't want to be caught by no one, and by no means he's allowing Dan to finish that. Because if he did, he would be letting the fear of failure to take over, instead of the determination for success.

"With the strategy I planned, there will be no problem in digging out any grave efficiently in less than ten minutes. The time in which the officers make their shift will suffice"

He explained a bit too hastily crossing his arms across his chest, as if scolding a little child. Or at least that's how it felt like to Dan, even when out of the two of them, Herbert is the one who sometimes gets childish.

"It's not like those idiots really have a clue of what's actually going on in the whole city. I just need the materials I requested from Miskatonic in order to brew the new reagent, and we'll eventually be able to get a fresh subject to test it"

Dan wanted to point out how Herbert seemed too fresh about this, fearless and mostly indifferent as always, but in some part of himself knew it was only true to some extent. Not him, but the blonde as well feared being caught, although Dan's fear was ignited mostly by the police, Herbert's fears were solely centered in the reanimated subjects that once were as real as now they are a fantasy about footsteps behind him; hence the parasomnia and the sleep talk about the horrible nightmares he finds himself in every time he's in a deep slumber instead of light sleep. That's why he kept that handgun under his pillow (the same cursed handgun that ended with so many experiments during their University years) and gripped it tightly whenever someone knocked their door at late night. Not like he's about to shoot an officer, but rather to whatever else could be behind the door in exchange. Although it still made Daniel uneasy, even when he ditched his beliefs a while ago, they're still in the back of his mind, and forced Dan to swore to God that if Herbert ever shoot a single bullet from that damn gun during his parasomnia; he'll screw everything and send his partner to a mental sanatorium. Both for his own well being and for Herbert's.

Leaving his folder aside, something resurfaced in Dan's mind.

"Speaking of which, I think a letter from Miskatonic arrived this morning. Since it wasn't the package with your stuff I didn't pay it too much mind"

Herbert sighed, like Dan probably guessing it would be more congratulations and good wishes and the usual stupidity from the Chairmen in Arkhan; as they couldn't stop being impressed by the young doctor's prowess in medicine in just the short spam of a few years of professional practice. And as usual West didn't gave a shit.

"When?"  
Said West with a low, tragic tone.  
"When will my materials arrive?"  
He continued, massaging his brows and looking overly annoyed. His partner just shrugged and shuffled through the many letters they received, they all laying scattered around the table. He finally found the one addressed from Miskatonic; opened it carefully but immediately after frowned upon giving it a quick glance. Not like he needed to give it too much though to understand it. It didn't go unnoticed by Herbert, of course, as he returned the stare with a weirded out expression.

"Something the matter?"

And equally as quickly, he handed the small letter to his partner who immediately eyed it's contents with a bored frown.

«Dear Herbert West

Your petition for high doses of certain drugs has been rejected, due the dangers they imply.

Miskatonic University and Arkhan's medicine faculty»

"What the hell?"

He muttered, brows furrowed and pale face devoid of emotions. Dan knew it all too well, the bubbling desire to lose control for a moment; Herbert usually bear with it and remained calm, but the desire was always there and reminded Dan his partner wasn't born in a laboratory, contrary to the popular belief.

"You know the folks from Miskatonic have always been black and white in their views, you either kill someone with these drugs or make the incredible discovery we've been aiming for. And if that happens, they won't be getting too much of a merit"

There was also the fact that these drugs were a bit (a lot) too hardcore for anyone, and the guys from Arkhan surely were weirded out whenever West's letters arrived, requesting (demanding) unreasonable amounts of dangerous drugs and materials, chemicals and every other weird stuff that seems more suited to brew acidic poison in order to kill Snow White. And gently, they usually complied after a while, but maybe now they realized how Herbert seemed to manipulate them. All of them, even Daniel found himself being manipulated every now and then by that small man. He watched how his partner set aside the letter and ran a hand through his blonde locks, looking already emotionless as if the matter had no importance at all.

"They may say that now, but as soon as they realize our prestige and reputation they'll change their minds. They always do"

Dan couldn't help but nod, that's quite right. Whenever we talk about Herbert West there's the need to consider many facts and balance which one of then amounts more; in one side there's the great IQ and medical prowess, while in the other there's insanity and morbidity beyond the realms of human comfort. Black and white, and the brighter side always wins. However, as confident as Dan was, he took the letter envelope just to find a surprise inside.

"Hey, there's another letter inside"  
He unfolded the new found small piece of somewhat wrinkled paper, maybe something they added in last second. Not their style at all. Without Dan noticing, West was already standing by his side to eye it.

«P.D: We are NOT changing our mind.

P.D.D: Not this time.

Yrs, Doctor Willett and Professor Armitage»

And there came the weight of the situation.

"These blasted old men..."

Dan didn't even need to look at Herbert to see the tic in his eye. He probably needs to tear flesh and meat for some new tests just in order to feel at ease again, despite the early hour in the morning and how he's got many appointments today, but after a while it became the only thing capable of calming down the bottled resentment that often took over and pushed away his usual, cold self. The taller of the two has to admit, Dr. Willet and Armitage have always been kind of too serious and despite gentle, recognized how Herbert's young mind is kinda... Misplaced. For one Armitage is not very lenient with youngsters, after all he has to take care of some occult and mysterious texts in Miskatonic's library; and often some people request to see them for... Dark motives. After someone tried to steal the Necronomicon a few years ago, he ditched kindness during work and forced himself to be exigent and serious with the students. And in the other hand, Dr. Willet may be a very nice man devoted to medicine; yet the only person he was ever lenient, and who he had a soft spot for was a young man named Charles Dexter Ward, a patient of his whom he loved as if he were his own child. He died years ago after partially losing his sanity, and with him every bit of favourement the old man had towards youngsters. Sad, but West probably though otherwise and instead wanted to spit any sort of profanities against them.

"Screw them"

He heard Herbert say beside him, and in one swift movement grabbed the small second letter (wrinkled paper) from Dan's hand, just to turn it into a ball and throw it somewhere with no care at all, Dan couldn't see his face as he walked away slowly.

"We'll do this with it without their help. When they realize how much of a mistake they committed, it'll be too late"

There was some sort of fatality in his tone Dan didn't quite like. As if he was decided to kill someone and bury their corpse with or without help. The blonde grabbed his own coffee mug and drank it mindlessly, his assistant watching somewhat worried.

"What do you mean?"  
He asked, voice somehow sounding small as West slammed his empty mug down in the table.

"My guts said yes. We're getting that materials on a way or another, and afterwards running the experiment. No implications can stop us, and the schedule I made will come true before our eyes"

And the wry smile that creep into his lips wasn't a good signal. Maybe he actually was implying he'll go as far as to kill someone in order achieve his goals and ambitions, even unnerving Dan despite how used he's to seeing these kind of terrible expressions that seemed to carry so much greed for success, lust for experimenting more and more, and malice towards any person who told him otherwise. The assistant didn't hesitate in standing and putting his hands in front of himself to gesture Herbert to stop in his tracks for a second, and maybe, just maybe reconsider whatever he had in mind.

"Wait, wait. A way or another? You don't mean that we're getting your materials by illegal methods, do you? Like, contacting drug dealers and that sort of stuff? We could lose our credibility and our rights to practice Medicine!"

Yeah, seems stupid to mention it now when ever since their college years they've been playing with dead human bodies, and digged out so many graves for the sake of the research; but it was... Different. At some extent. Dead man tells no tales, and if they ever succeeded in Reanimating someone then that would be an entirely different matter. Making clandestine deals includes leaving people that can testify and spread information quickly; they both dreaded the sole though of being hailed and - in Herbert's point of view - lose every right and means to experiment and continue the research, which has always been ever present and ever important in their lives. They could ruin their lives in less than a few seconds, and Dan would eventually end alone due the fact Herbert'd rather die than live without what he chose to be his reason to keep on living. The schedule of success would immediately turn into a list dark events that would leave no room for success or happiness of any sort. Dan could already picture it.

«September 23: «Today» First contact with drug dealers. Doctor West and his ashamed assistant (whose name doesn't seem to matter enough) are caught by local authorities. Drug dealers are spared due dementia.

September 24: A trial is held. Dr. Willet, and Henry Armitage from Arkhan testify against West and his colleague, and their rights to practice medicine are removed.

September 25: The trial continues, after further research of West's past he's accused of crimes against humanity, morbidity beyond humanely possible, gruesome and twisted practice of Medicine, xenophobia, racism, antropophobia, and all in all for being too weird.

September 26: West is interned into a mental asylum, and his partner sent to a federal hail. Zero chances of a new trial within the next 10 years.

September 27: Doctor and assistant apart, research results are null. West's research... His dream... The work of his life... His patients... His subjects... His partner... His Lyla...

September 28: No more free drugs to keep nightmares at bay. Insanity everywhere.

September 29: Death.

Goodbye, Lyla.»

"Daniel, Dan! Stop displaying that death fish's eyes and listen to me!"

For how long has been Herbert snapping his fingers in front of him? And for how long had Dan been staring into the void with big and dark eyes filled with horror? Doesn't really matter as he bit his lip and tried to focus in the present time. For moments like this is because West is never pessimistic about being caught or failure. The weight of a single mistake in reality is too much to bear with, and honestly Dan could say he rationalized the incoming days all too well unlike Herbert. Sounded too excessive, but that's how things will end up if they take a wrong step. Herbert in a mental asylum where he'll probably kill someone or himself, and Dan as a dangerous criminal in a cellar where a black man will probably rape him, as revenge or divine punishment for what happened to the reanimated black and bulky boxer.

The question is; it's sane to admit that what Dan feared the most is the separation, and the fact that without him Herbert will probably let his sanity finally slip? Maybe it isn't. Maybe he's mad as well and they'll be locked in the same mental asylum, after all.

"Daniel, do you still respect me?"

The taller one frowned, already leaving his dreaded thoughs aside to answer for who knows which time that question.

"Yes Herbert, I respect you. I've told you that many times before, but I don't support the idea of compromising our careers just to get some hardcore drugs!"

Although he sounded angry, the blonde didn't look perturbed in the slightest. He just stood there, fixing his glasses and displaying no emotion.

"Good. Then I trust you respect me enough to recognize I'm not resorting to that kind of mundane methods"

And as much as Dan wanted to point out the many dangers of failure, they were all caught in his throat. His mouth hanging open, about to say something that never came, while Herbert just stared. Now, Daniel felt even bad for yelling like that to his partner and fellow Doctor.

"Oh..."  
He said lowly after a moment.  
"I see, that's okay"  
Not like he could muster anything else, felling dumbfounded by Herbert's confidence despite everything.

"Yes, because I'm leaving that task to you"

Did he say that Herbert always leaves him with the most frustrating, gross, mundane tasks in that clinic of theirs and work in general? Because he does. And while it may not be all that bad sometimes, the implications of it now sounded way too risky and in all honesty, scary, like the twisted grin Herbert is giving out right now.

"WHAT?"

At his partner's new surprise and wide open eyes in both fear and discomfort, Herbert just tucked his hands in the pockets of his white coat and continued to smile.

"Please, it's not that bad. You won't be dealing with police officers or insane drug dealers, because I've got faith in your abilities to get the materials I need..."

He trailed off, and locked gazes with his (now a bit more calm) partner.

"...By charming your way through Arkhan, and doing a bit of a sweet talk to the naive pharmacy attendants, until they're clinging to you just enough to hand over the drugs without any sort of question"

A moment passed, and Dan sighed. Herbert almost gave him a heart attack out there. He passed his hand through his dark hair, and then through his face. West sure had guts, he surely planned this in case Willet and Armitage neglected him the drugs, which wasn't that unexpected. This also seemed to be a mockery of the many affairs Dan had during University- Herbert loathed them all. And the blonde is usually regarded as the handsome one out of the two. And despite his possessiveness, (that small man can be truly possessive, both wary of men and women alike when it comes to them retaining Dan's attention for way too long. It's pretty much like the small dog's syndrome; or when the cats think humans are their servants because they feed them dutifully, as well as thinking they own the entire house) jealousy, and fear of Dan leaving him someday, in this situation when romance doesn't really matter and his assistant is just about to charm that women on Herbert's behalf and for the sake of the research; it seems to be just right in his book.

"I don't know West. You know my days of flirting with women by saying stupid, romantic lines taken from movies are long gone. Besides I don't think they'll just hand over these kind of drugs to anyone with a pretty face and sweet words, Doctor or not"

He failed to point out how his days of seeking for a movie romance like a dumb school kid ended when Herbert carved deep into his life, became his priority and the only person he wished to hold, but that can be for another occasion. Maybe when Herbert is finally interned into a mental sanatorium and that will be his only argument to validate he's doing everything because... Because...

"No, I am sure you can do it"  
Herbert's voice broke through, and it sounded incredibly full of confidence.

"I've seen you do it before, even when you don't mean to. Like with Mrs. Van Itty, I know you were being kind and trying not to look into her ugly face, but she was so mesmerized in your sweet talk that practically became a doll that can be convinced into doing whatever you want. I know you just enough to realize the same will happen if you try with the pharmacy attendants"

He explained, arms crossed and somewhat amused by the incredulous look in Dan's eyes.

"If you command them to raise their right hand, they shall raise their right hand. If you command them to raise their right foot, they shall raise their left foot. If you command them to raise both their feet, they shall stand with their hands"

Dan truly wondered if this was part of his mockery towards the few women he's charmed before; or if he really thinks that the mechanic of harboring a crush on someone actually works like that, turning people into some sort of machine that follows absurd commands because that's what they're programed for. Either way, it only made him think of how he himself has followed through many absurd requests (commands) just to humor his blonde partner. What an irony.

"It doesn't work that way, and you know it"  
He pinched the bridge of his nose, let his gaze down, and when he finally raised it, Dan regretted every second of this discussion because he wasn't wise enough to catch where it was heading to. To the very expected part in which he won't be able to to follow with Herbert's desire, and he'll resort to not mundane, but plainly nasty methods to force him into that plan of his.

Herbest had taken off his glasses; clutching them in one hand, and his long bangs were a beautiful mess of blonde over his forehead. And his blue eyes- oh, these eyes... The infamous puppy eyes he put on every time he wanted something out of Dan. Unbearable and bright, open wide and adorable in so many ways, with that small pout and the faint freckles over his nose- Dan couldn't stop seeing him! This was all overpowering him, seizing him to follow Herbert's will.

"No, not this again!"  
He tried to look away, but useless it was. The gaze followed him by some uncanny reason.

"I know you can do it Dan! You're just avoiding it because you've grown lazy with the years!"  
Dan let out a low, prolonged growl before letting his shoulders slump. He was done for, West wins this round of “Combating the puppy eyes”. Dan: 0, Herbert: 341 and counting victories.

"Fine, I'll do it! But just because I'm not lazy like you. But if the police hails me for sexual harassment, you'll pay my fee"

"Deal"

Was all Herbert said quickly, and they shook hands, Dan looking deflated but he'll surely get over it. Everyone is always manipulated into complying with the blonde's wishes, his assistant is of course no exception. Just that he's more aware of it than anyone else. With a heavy sigh, he walked away to grab his jacket somewhat hastily, Herbert watching at him curiously.

"I'll better get this done as quickly as possible"

He mumbled under his breath. Yeah, it wasn't such a long ride to Arkhan, but he wasn't losing anymore time at risking himself to be slapped directly in the face by West's puppy eyes again. Sexual harassment or whatever, this isn't about to end well in a way or another. And he tried to tell himself this is for the sake of the research rather than for Herbert's sake. It never sounded quite true whenever he repeated it in his head, but screw it.

"You're leaving now? What about your appointments?"

And now he regretted doing all that for his partner (Hadn't he denied it just now?), who doesn't even remember something Dan explained weeks ago, and yesterday ago, just because it seemingly has nothing to do with their research. All is always about the research, not about Herbert or Dan or Crawford or even Lyla.

"Come on, you surely remember how I canceled my appointments because I'm leaving for Illinois to visit my parents"

Dan said it a lot of times, every now and then he mentioned it. Just now he has to get this over with (for Herbert) because he'll be leaving tomorrow morning. A long drive and a long stay, because of how lonely his old ones can get due to his sisters' absence. His younger sister married a few weeks ago, and despite having each other, they really wanted to see their only male child. Contrary to what one would think, they both are proud of him despite his lack of wife, and despite the fact he ditched the religious beliefs to follow a more scientific path. He really wanted to see them, and felt the obligation he had to go. It pulled him as much as the feeling that he probably shouldn't leave his friend alone for so long, but equally didn't regret taking a decision for his own sake. He wasn't watching Herbert's probably bitter, or maybe emotionless expression on his face, but the next thing he heard was the door to West's study being opened and then closed, a few words the only thing he left behind.

"Have a nice driving"

And with that he was gone. For the rest of the day, most likely. Dan had to keep at bay the urge to force open the door and embrace that dumb blond until he breaks the silent treatment.

 

Sometimes Dan though, that Herbert is maybe too smart for this world's good. His plan went exactly like expected, the pharmacy attendants were quite a nice pair of ladies that hesitated but in the end trusted in Daniel's credentials, and handed over the drugs that seemed completely out of place, given their research. What's that thing about “Blasted Heath Water”? Wasn't the Blasted Heath a cursed place where a meteorite crashed years ago? Why would a pharmacy sell something like that? He eventually shrugged it off as something Herbert will enjoy playing with until he comes back from Illinois. So he fulfilled the mundane task and left the drugs in the counter for West to find while he's packing for the trip. By early in the night he was done, and when he grabbed something to eat the drugs were gone. A certain feeling of “Herbert was here” lingering in the air, mostly because he witnessed how the door to the small man's study slammed when he stepped in the hall.

For a moment he was tempted to find out some excuse to talk with his partner, but found himself too tired of dealing with him for today. That kind of mental tiring feeling you get when taking care of livestock. So, Dan tried to sleep early today, and lightly as always. Nightmares lurked around at every corner, both for him and Herbert, so waking up in the middle of the night was more thanked than annoying, but what Dan wasn't expecting is the sudden warmth beside him. He had been sleeping with his face turned to one side, and he guessed the new, lithe body beside him has his face turned to the other; so they were back to back. Dan stayed silent for a minute, then two, then three, until he felt the person beside him shift and get comfortable.

"...Herbert?"  
He asked lowly, not really sure if there would be an answer, but still wishing for it with his very being. If this was his parasomnia or a joke, or Herbert actually and willingly laying beside him, or a bad joke of his mind; Daniel suddenly found himself desperate to know. A moment before, the silence was broken once more by a voice that didn't sound sleep laced at all.

"Don't turn"

That's all he said. Firmly, calmly, and Dan could only obey and wait for any sort of explanation; or something that would ease the burning sensation that spread from his neck to his face, and make the feeling in his stomach go away. This isn't awkward, this isn't awkward, this ISN'T- fuck, this IS awkward.

...despite not being their first time experiencing that closeness, of course. Much to his surprise, a moment after something else followed.

"I am sleep talking"

And that sounded as serious as dumb. He clearly isn't acting out of Parasomnia, neither he's sleep talking... He's as awake as any creature of the night would be at this hour. Dan knew, for he's seen the parasomnia in person, and wrote down whatever he said during his sleep. Some gruesome things, some awkward stuff, but they all are noted down for future generations. As much as Daniel wanted to point out something else, he was clearly more drawn to the surprise of having Herbert beside him, and the fact he didn't want the blonde to leave. To get up and go away, giving out the cold shoulder and locking himself out of the outside world, continuing with his metamorphosis into a creature of darkness.

"I see"  
He said calmly, and realized he actually didn't care about the reasons. Everything else be damned, if Herbert wanted to be beside him, Dan isn't about to complain and instead enjoys the moment of closeness; weakness or whatever West wants to label it.

"You really have to leave tomorrow?"

The unspoken question, surely one Herbert would not ask during a normal situation, well aware of how much it meant to his partner take a time for himself and his family; beside persons actually alive and they still couldn't reanimate in case they weren't. He appreciated the life, that much is obvious, no one wants to see the world as well as the persons around them withering and rotting woefully with no alternative. That's why he also wanted to find a cure, an alternative to the impeding demise. A way out, or at least the hope for it. And as much as Dan wanted to turn around to erase the surely tired and bitter expression of Herbert's, he knew he had to put up with this and humor him.

"You know I have to"  
The answer was more like a complement. Not like he needed to point what they both already knew. Still, the blonde shifted a bit in the bed, grabbing a handful of the blanket and drawing it to himself, holding unto it like so many times he's done during his actual parasomnia. Not because he was cold, but more because the blanket is Dan's. But that's a secret, isn't it?

When he spoke, his voice was small and despite in a normal tone, reaching Dan's ears it felt more like a whisper.

"The house will be lonely and I'll have nightmares"

This made the assistant's heart ache, and the desire to just turn around and embrace the blonde was almost unbearable by now but he had to hold unto the small amount of determination he could muster in his sleepiness. Because if he did, Herbert will probably leave by taking the embrace as an act of pity. And Dan didn't want him to leave right now, probably just like West doesn't want him to leave. Maybe he should have pointed out something rational, like the fact nightmares are ever present and more like the usual lame horror story our parents tell during dark, moonless nights; and how the loneliness brings him peace and time to work without his caretaker and assistant to bug him into eating something and resting during night, but as much advantages there were it probably wouldn't remedy the feeling of abandonment. It was always like that, even during University, Dan still remembered the shadow that loomed over Herbert whenever he had to go, as if he's never known what is to have a family. Actually, because of that, Dan found out the reason behind his darkened mood and possessiveness.

I have a family, he had said.

Just that I don't when you're not, he pointed out hastily, almost as if he didn't want to say it but also wanted it to be heard somehow.

When Dan's not. Like he were to leave, and come back after years of absence and they could begin again. Herbert loathed these "years" of absence, and feared Dan would rather stay with his big family rather than in a small building filled with the miasma of death, and where the feeling that he's Igor and works for Viktor Frankenstein never faded. Herbert could be bold, curt, serious and emotionless, frigid beyond humanely possible and a bit insane at (still) not dangerous levels, but he feared like any other human would, even when the signs of Dan wanting to leave him equaled to null (many jokes were said, off handed comments, but the actual intent never crossed his mind as a serious consideration) he still feared and probably though that Nightmare would come true someday just like many did before, and Dan wanted to be as far as possible and never come back. Dan would tell him everything was fine, he's not leaving him and escaping to somewhere else to find satisfaction he isn't getting from being stuck in the same place, (although he was sure Herbert would find him no matter the place if he settled his mind into it) but that would make no difference. Words are as useful as a napkin, and can mean as much as something you can trash. Mostly because Herbert is a materialist person; only believing in what he can see and touch. If Dan's not there, no matter the letters and the promises about his return, he's not Herbert's family until said promises are proven true.

Dan knew more than anyone it was like that. He's heard about it form West's mouth, when he pulled his shit together to finally talk to his partner about his shallow past. When he saw his mother, Lyla West, death after the accident that took place during a festival at Arkhan; he though she was alive. Just looking at the good state of her body, no more than scrapes and bruises; not a pool of blood or the essence of death and sorrow emanating from her corpse, unlike the other casualties. She looked entire and alive, seemingly asleep in a peaceful slumber, when there was nothing else to be done. West tried to convince Doctors into doing something else, into trying to regain a heartbeat but they insisted it was futile. While a body may be a mechanic vessel that can be improved and fixed, the energy they dubbed as soul left her. And without it, there's nothing else to be done. This probably brought the great anger, distaste, blind rage and sorrow; such an endless sorrow that turned into emotions he'd rather not show and remain frigid. Because he couldn't see the soul, was it even there? Ludicrous. For not saying outwardly ridiculous for men of science. And it kept them from trying to save his mother, nevertheless. It made him grow bitter, frustrated, so terribly frustrated but also determined in his goals, and as a true man of science believing in what he can see. That's why he hasn't forgiven Crawford, because no matter how many times his naive and small cousin would cry and beg for forgiveness, beg for Herbert to allow him by his side like the brotherly bond they used to share, no matter if he even claims that if he could, he'd gladly go back in time and die instead of Lyla. Yet, he's still unable to prove his words and they remain as mere sounds carried by the wind. Last time he and Herbert talked, about a year ago, Dan was there to watch how West was as cold as to tell his cousin to kill himself and prove that he really means every word and has no regrets. And it was painful to see how Crawford just fled, tears streaming down in silent, defeated sobs. Specially painful because he looks so much like Herbert, they could have been twins for all Dan knew.

Words have never sufficed. They probably never will, and if actions are not in order, things are as good as if they hadn't talked at all.

"Herbert"

He fought to contain the tremor in his voice, the way he wanted to get up and yell, and instead Dan did what his brain and body screamed to; with a swift movement he turned and gave no time for his blonde companion to react, quickly trapping him by sliding his arms around Herbert's waist. It wasn't solely meant to trap him, but Daniel already screwed everything else and pressed that small body against himself; gently but also with a fierce intent to hold close his partner and feel the blonde hair trickle in his face. Not like it mattered, Dan welcomed it and buried his face in the soft locks, speaking directly into West's ear; he surprisingly didn't try to pry himself off (because he's supposed to be sleep talking, isn't him?) and only let out something that sounded like a gasp or a whimper out of surprise.

"Are you still thinking I would abandon you just like that? That every time I have to go I'll never return?"

He half whispered, half said with undertones of annoy and a well suppressed fury. And actually, it might have been too hard to tell with no light, but Dan could swear that Herbert nodded slowly. As if finally admitting his fears, after all if his partner already knew then there's no use in hiding them anymore.

"After everything... you still think so lowly of me?"

"I don't"

The answer came out quickly, and more firm that it should have been for anyone sleepy, but it failed to convince Dan.

"You do"  
He voiced in return, firm as well, and found out West wasn't pointing out something else, so he continued.  
"You think that I don't respect you, that our research has no meaning for me; but you're mistaken. I've always respected your dreams and ambitions, and your determination made me believe that if there's someone who can bring back the dead ones, it's got to be you. That's why I still have faith and keep advancing forward despite all the difficulties, and the weird shit we may go through"

His voice was still a whisper, a loud whisper full of conviction and some haste, because he's kept these things to himself for so long. Mostly due the fact Herbert wouldn't have cared, he needed no praise from someone, if anything he would have scolded Dan into being more professional and less emotional, more like a machine and less than a human, but either way he's saying it and his fellow Doctor is about to hear it, like it or not. Because just like the first thing his parents gave him was his religious faith, the first thing Herbert gave him was faith as well. Faith that remains unchanged even through calamities and horrors, hardships and silly days, because the determination West has shown ever since the start gave Dan that faith no one else seemed to care about or notice, with closed minds they couldn't understand the simplicity of someone who doesn't like death, and thinks that getting a remedy to it is as easy as anything else if you have an unwavering determination. That's how Dan has always felt, and cherished that faith that made him keep going, and keep growing more and more fond of his research; not because of how morbid it actually is, but because it's meaningful and it's spent beside his partner, friend and dearest, he who needs someone to take care of him, while he takes care of death. Taking a breath, Daniel didn't allow a moment to pass before letting everything else spill at its own.

"Sometimes I may be against things that are for the sake of our research, maybe because I consider them to be wrong; but it's actually because I am afraid. Afraid of taking the wrong step and losing everything we've worked for, everything I have"

I am afraid of losing you.

It went unsaid, but it was clearly there by the upset, and almost desperate tone of his voice. Because losing Herbert, losing the lithe body he's holding unto, would tear him inside. He's already too attached, fond, and being perfectly honest, that's something Dan is not regret of. It scares him to lose Herbert, to have him away physically or mentally, it scares him to see his blonde injured or hurt in a way or another. That made his voice quiver, and crack at the last part, and Herbert shifted slightly beside him, probably noticing that; but that wasn't stopping Daniel at this point.

"I wouldn't just leave you and our research, I couldn't"  
A pause for a quick, deep breath. He doesn't like what he's about to say.  
"And if we ever get caught..."  
His eyes stung. His throat felt dry, but Dan wanted to continue. In some part of himself, he had this feeling that Herbert wanted him to keep going.

"If we ever get caught, I'd rather die than being trapped in a damn hail forever while you're taken to some asylum; because I couldn't bear it. I couldn't bear to see our research end abruptly like that, and I couldn't bear to know you're all alone losing your mind while no one knows what to do with you. They won't ever know how to take care of you as I do!"

Maybe in any other occasion, West would have retorted bitterly how he's perfectly able to take care of himself, when in reality he's not. He's always so reckless, selfless and negligent of his own mental sanity and health, that's why he has Dan beside him, a fact that never changed no matter the situation or moment; time and scenery can vary but Daniel has never. And he doesn't want to abandon it, he's not about to turn his back to Herbert, because he's stayed for more reasons than for the sake of their research. He went quiet after saying that last part with a raised tone, as if spitting bile. And a moment passed while he collected his thoughs, which seemed difficult in spite of the silent atmosphere and darkness of the room, maybe because West is here and Dan felt like he had to give him all his attention, just like the blonde usually demanded him to. With a sight, he just left aside the other thoughs and enjoyed the warm, soft feeling of holding Herbert flush against himself. He finally opened his mouth for a moment until words came out with incredible ease.

"I Love you, Herbert"

Whatever is about to happen next, it doesn't matter. Now, Dan finally can say that if he dies and there's no reagent to bring him back, he at least can get this out of his list of things he would regret not having done. Despite of how easy it seemed, to just conclude in a few words that would have (even if a bit) more meaning than any others. At least, to him.

Because in spite of how he allowed Herbert to know of his respect and admiration, there's always been the necessity to say more. When Herbert said he doesn't want Dan to leave, he felt as if he needed to say more. When the blonde was being outwardly possessive and jealous, there was the necessity to say more. When he slept beside Dan after yelling at his small cousin and seeing him leave in tears, they both could have said more, and the night in which they brought back Halsey from death and stayed at Herbert's apartment, despite of the faint recollections Dan has, they actually did and said more; but discarded it because it seemed meaningless, and out of petty feelings and selfish desires that brought them nothing for the sake of the research. But that was then, and this is now; no matter how petty it seems he's about to say it for the sake of himself, because he wants to and wants Herbert to know and understand.

And has he tightened his grip and buried himself further in the soft hair of his blonde, Dan felt how Herbert gently touched his hands with his own, not trying to pry them away but instead feeling for him. Recognizing the fact that Dan is here, with him, for him. And it made the assistant think that maybe and just maybe, he isn't the only one who wants this for both their sakes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Tried to be a little more detailed, and it got kinda too lengthy. Sorry about that.
> 
> Just to clarify, Parasomnia is an sleep phenomena in which the person walks, talks, and seems lucid during their sleep; they may even have another personality that manifests during their Parasomnia, and there's been cases of people who don't drink or smoke usually, but they do it as well as many nasty habits during their sleep. It happens when there's a combination of sleep apnea, night terrors, and somnambulism. It happens to a bunch of people, and is generally ignited by some traumatic event; equally it can come to a close with another traumatic event or therapy. Or that's what I've heard, sorry if there's any mistake.
> 
> Here's the list of works from H.P Lovecraft I made reference to:
> 
> Crawford Tillinghast- "From Beyond"  
> The Crawling Chaos- That's Nyarlathotep.  
> The Daemon Sultan- that's Azathoth.  
> Randolph Carter- "The statement of Randolph Carter", "The Silver Key", "Through the gates of the Silver key" and "The dream Quest of the unknown Kadath"  
> Mrs Van Itty and Ermengarde- "The Sweet Ermengarde"  
> Cabot Museum- "Out of the Aeons"  
> The Blasted Heath- "The color out of a space"   
> St. John and his anonymous partner- "The Hound"  
> Dr. Willet- "The case of Charles Dexter Ward"  
> Professor Henry Armitage- "The Dunwich Horror"  
> The Starry Wisdom Church- "The haunter in the darkness"  
> The esoteric order of Dagon- "The shadow over Innsmouth"  
> The Chorazos cult- I'm not sure, as long as I'm aware they worship Yog-sothoth.  
> The brotherhood of the beast- They worship Nyarlathotep's avatar known as the beast.  
> The expedition to the Antarctic- "In the mountains of madness"  
> The expedition to Australia- "The Shadow out of this time"
> 
> Sorry if I missed something :D, and maybe there were too many, but I'm just a freak for Lovecraft. One more chapter to go! Look forward to it!

**Author's Note:**

> I know this was silly, and could have been more detailed or serious but I just needed to write it! It's mostly based upon the story, but I added some elements from the movie at my convenience. 
> 
> Thanks for reading, the story about Herbert's past is made up! Look forward the next part! :)


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